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Friendship Thoughts

I have a friend who has been my friend since we were babies. Her name is Kim. We spoke on yesterday. Actually, I called because she was supposed to email me pictures and I haven't gotten them yet. She's been occupied with other things like her 3 beautiful children.




Oh, and the fact that her doctor thought she had cancer. For some reason, I was in shock when she told me. And, I was surprised she didn't tell me sooner. She wanted to wait until they knew something for sure. For now, they say she doesn't have cancer. But, she has to get checked again in 4 months. Most of my childhood memories include Kim...and Javares. He's already gone and I don't know how I would handle her leaving too. Granted, we don't talk nearly as much as we used to. Life has us moving in very different directions a lot of the time. But, that's still my girl.

When I was home in February, I visited one of my mother's friends. I stayed at her house for hours. She helped me realize just what a good friend my mom was. I think I knew that because she had so many girlfriends. I just couldn't appreciate that aspect of my mom. All I knew is they tied up the telephone too much and laughed too loud. But, my mother was a good friend.

At this very moment, I'm talking to Ayana (via IM) about why I'm not a good friend. I guess I shouldn't say that because I am sort of good. I'll do anything for my friends. If they need someone to clean up vomit or slash tires, I'm there. I am really joking right now, by the way. I love to laugh and talk to my friends. But, I'm not good at maintaining friendships. I rarely remember birthdays. I don't call much because I don't like to talk on the telephone. I gotta do better. I'm good in-person but if there's distance between us, I don't do so well.

When my mom died, she was surrounded by her girlfriends. I used to be a little jealous because they got her last moments. But, I think that was probably the way she wanted it. She was surrounded by the women who knew her best...her girlfriends.

To my girlfriends, expect more phone calls and visits. I just might even go on shopping trips with you ladies...just as soon as I recover from jet lag. I'll be back in Houston in 11 days!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Bridget, I know how you feel. I'm in the same city as my friends and I don't always call them either, unless I want or need something. I think your true friends know your dynamic and love you for who you are whether you call everyday or every other month. And you don't have to go shopping with us if you don't want to...we still love you.
Keisha
Anonymous said…
Oh, that was sweet. I think we all need to improve in this area. I must say though I have this one friend that calls me almost every week. We have designated Thursdays as our night and my husband knows and accepts the routine. When I wasn't calling and she had to do most of the calling, I could tell she was disappointed and I know how she feels because I have had that to happen to me and I eventually stopped calling those people. Because I knew what she was feeling, I started calling like I should which was every other week and I could tell how happy she was that I was doing my part. Although, I love and will do anything for my other girlfriends, I must admit that because she is taking the time from her busy schedule to call me, I truly appreciate it and feel like someone other than my family really cares for me and would miss our regular talks if I was to die. I said all of that to say again that we do need to improve in this area by turning off the T.V., etc. and get back to talking on the phone for hours with those girlfriends that will do anything in the world for us. It may not be every week but it needs to be something we do on a regular basis. Of course it doesn't come before our families, but we all must admit that are many times when we are just watching something we don't really want to watch, etc. and we could easily pick up the phone to talk or go to the store with a friend. O.K. I think I have said enough

Red
Anonymous said…
This topic must be for me because I was just talking about this over the weekend. I suffer from the same complex, but I still have not seen the problem which is probably where the problem lies. I guess I have some soul searching to do, but in my opinion...Bridge, you are a great friend. You are one of the very, very few I call my friend and am truly blessed to have met and still be in contact with you. I am looking forward to your return to the states and hope to see you soon.

Love you and the family,
Nazah
Anonymous said…
True friends know each others heart no matter what. You are just like myself because I don't care for talking on the phone much but I do try to make an effort to keep in touch with my friends. I have 3 best friends from pre-k, we all met at 4 years old and we all still remain friends 28 years later speaking to each other at least once weekly. Our lives are beyond busy but we make time to communicate our feelings. So your not a bad friend your just like the rest of us trying to stretch one day into two.
Latanya (P.S. You don't need to call me I'll holla at you later!)
Mrs. Glenn said…
Girl, I'm feeling you too. I do call one girlfriend the most, and that's my twin sister. Everyone else is on the "I'll talk to you later" list. What kind of mess? I know good and well I need to do better. Thanks for this blog and the one about what I'm doing to give more of myself. I have these moments where I actually realize I'm the adult now, and I am the mother and wife of the family. It hits me from time to time, and I need to get off my bum and do something about it. Girl, just know you're preaching to the choir, and I don't mind one bit. You're the best and you are my friend... after all these years. :)
Love ya girlie,

Nika
Anonymous said…
Girl I feel you. I used to talk more on the phone, but then life kinda takes over. I've got to get better too. I agree with everyone though...your friends know your heart.

Ayana
Anonymous said…
I forgot the most important part...we MUST get our chocolate fix before any shopping!!! :)

Guess who???
Anonymous said…
Bridge,
You're a great friend. I think friends come in different flavors and do different things but it's good b/c variety adds flavor to life. I do however think it's important to let friends know how important they are b/c they forget sometimes and if you have one really good friend you got more than your fair share. On another note I can't believe you're returning to the USA in 11 days. I know you're excited. So back to Houston for good?
Lonna

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