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The Favorite Child

This is something I've always wondered about. Do parents have a favorite child? My parents did. It was me. I was also the only child so there was no competition. But, what about families with more than one? Like us.

I've been accused of having a favorite child. They say it's Danae. That's kinda funny to me because if you saw us at home, you would think opposite. When we sit to watch television or read a book, Brayden is always curled up in my lap or on my shoulder while Danae would prefer to sit with her daddy. But, he's not my favorite. He's just a mama's boy and she's a daddy's girl. We have no idea where #3 will fit in.

By the way, my due date is supposedly February 22nd but I don't think that's accurate.

Anyway, my stepmother clearly has a favorite child. And, she doesn't mind sharing that information. You would know it as soon as you walked in her house. She has tons of pictures of one child while you have to hunt for the pictures of the other two. Of course, my dad has pictures of me around too. My stepmother has 3 children, 2 daughters and a son.

Her favorite is her oldest daughter, R. She is a widow with no children, is very successful, and has quite a bit of disposable income. So, she treats her mom a lot. For instance, they just went on a Mediterranean cruise last month, she bought her a car, and they go on at least one vacation yearly together. Her other daughter, D, is a lesbian (which her mother disapproves of) and a minister (she was fired as a pastor because of her sexual orientation). Basically, she has proven to be a disappointment in her mom's eyes. Her son is an average guy. He's divorced with two children, isn't rich but also isn't in poverty. The last time he visited he told my dad he doesn't believe his mom loves him as much as the others. Isn't that a sad thing for a child to say?

So, guess which child visits the most? Yep, it's R. The other two don't. She and R talk daily while the other two are lucky if they hear from her once a week. It's a huge discrepancy. But, I'm not judging the situation. I'm very curious. Will this happen to me one day too? My hope is that I have a special bond with each child. I know we naturally cling to people who are more like us and share our interests but does that apply to our kids as well. I guess only time will tell.

Have any of you experienced this or seen it in other families?

Comments

Anonymous said…
This is interesting. I have not seen this in a family and I do not think I have experienced it either. Although when I was growing up I did think my sister was the favorite. My parents didn't treat me bad, I was just asked to do too much (in my opinion). I think it was because I was the oldest.

Trinimerican
Anonymous said…
I used to think my sister was the favorite, but then I realized she got what she wanted because she asked and had a reason for my parents to get it. Our parents treated us equally, but my sister would disagree because I got my braces at a certain age and when she turned that age she expected to get them too. I think we are well adjusted adults.
Keisha
Anonymous said…
I have seen it in other families and I have experienced it. My experience was not very bad, but I could tell the difference and tried not to let it bother me because this life just sucks sometimes and there was nothing I could do about it but tell them that I see it. Ultimately, I think it made me a better person.

Red
Anonymous said…
There was an interesting article in last month's Parent magazine on this very issue. The article said that at different times those of us with more than one child may have a favorite and that favorite can change depending on the circumstances. For example if one has really tested your parental limits for the day or if a child has done something that either reminds you of yourself or something you wish you could do. In any case I think most parents love their children equally but differently becuase they are not clones and have their own personalities.

Joelle
Anonymous said…
First of all I know that you nor Dwayne would ever be those parents because your not that kind of friend now. Anyway, I have never experienced this myself because my parents treated us equally although it is known that my little brother is my moms favorite. He was the only child to look like her and was the baby. I don't think my older brother and I cared too much. I do find it disappointing to treat your children unequally and I am sure God frowns upon it. I will pray for your stepmom and their situation.
Latanya
Anonymous said…
All parents have favorite just most don't want to admit it. Who is your favorite will also change at different times in your life. This is natural b/c ppl have different interests and so naturally you will be naturally to things about your child that are like you as well as your spouse as well as other family members. The problem becomes when that child being your favorite at that time blocks you from loving the other child/ children.

Lonna
Anonymous said…
All parents have favorite just most don't want to admit it. Who is your favorite will also change at different times in your life. This is natural b/c ppl have different interests and so naturally you will be naturally to things about your child that are like you as well as your spouse as well as other family members. The problem becomes when that child being your favorite at that time blocks you from loving the other child/ children.

Lonna

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