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Kid Stuff

Dwayne bought the game Punch Out for our Wii. One of the characters is named Piston Honda. Danae said his name sounds like when daddy says "Brayden just pissed on himself". Get it? Piston = Pissed on. It was one of those funny moments that you can't necessarily laugh about in front on them. Can't encourage that behavior.

Anyway, school is back in session and that holds true for school at our house. Brayden's handwriting is greatly improving. Danae is spelling new words every day and is finally getting the concept of phonics. She had the hardest time understanding how to sound out words. She would simply memorize how they looked and were spelled. Obviously, we still have hard words and lazy days but it's getting better. They're both doing well with addition too. I'm so proud of my kids. Can you tell?

Danica is doing what she's supposed to I guess. She sits up, rolls around, and babbles constantly. The older two love seeing her progress and get excite…

I'm back

I know it's been a very long time since I've written on this here blog. I've had a million things to write about but just haven't had the time or energy to collect my thoughts and post something. Now, my life is settled again so I'm back.

The summer has been great. We've traveled quite a bit. We've spent time with family and friends. We've done some other cool things in our fair city.

Now, school is back in session. Homeschool, that is. The kids are growing and enjoying life. I'm going to try to post something daily but we'll see how that goes.

Until later,

My take on MJ...

Since I was a child, I have always been fascinated by people's worship and admiration for Michael Jackson. Back in the 1980's, he used to rent out the Civic Center in Pensacola to practice and prepare for his upcoming tours. People would camp out nearby just to get a Michael Jackson sighting. Just to see his limo going by. Just for him to wave at them. All this, for a man who wouldn't even do a concert in Pensacola because we didn't have a large enough venue for him. Anywhere he went across the world, hordes of people would faint or become hysterical just because of his presence. Now, don't get me wrong. I had his pictures hanging on the walls in my room. I owned the red leather jacket with 5000 zippers everywhere. I had the white socks and penny loafers too. Shoot, I even had a MJ purse with his picture on the side. (I could probably make a pretty penny if I still had them.)

He was, and still is, a god to a lot of people. The true American idol. Even in the more re…

I'm busy y'all...

I've been meaning to post something lately but just don't have the time. Let's see what I've been up to, if I can even remember. I have a horrible memory lately.

Our 12 year old niece is here for a large part of the summer. That is...interesting. And it confirms my decision to not have more children. I am not ready for my children to hit that adolescence stage. My kids and their cousin have been arguing, fussing, fighting like crazy. Then they have a few moments of kindness and get along. Talk about annoying. Still, we're glad she's here and hope she has a good time out here.

Jaelyn had a successful heart surgery. We are so extremely happy about that. We have been praying and asking so many other people to pray for her. God is good!

Our other niece was born on Monday. Can't wait to see little Denise.

I totally missed my friend Red's birthday. I reminded myself until the day of and then forgot to call her. Sorry girl! I still love you!

I'm basically a sin…

Baby Body

I don't embarrass easily nor am I very self-conscious. But, I am really bothered by my body since Danica has been born...specifically, my stomach area. I know that I have birthed 3 babies. Because I didn't spread or gain weight anywhere else, my stomach was stretched to its limit. But, now, post baby it is NOT CUTE. I look like I'm still 5 months pregnant!

So, I have been working on it for a few weeks now. I know it hasn't been long at all but I am seeing no results yet. I'm still working though. I was hoping to comfortable enough for a bathing suit this summer but that may have to wait a year. Ugh!

I still can't wear quite a bit of my pre-pregnancy clothes. But I refuse to buy more. Why? Because I WILL get back into them. I have been fortunate most of my life to not really have to worry much about weight gain. So, this is bothering me big time.

I will track my progress and if I ever get a post-baby body where people don't say "you look good to have 3 kid…

Being Busy

I know I have been having big breaks in between posts lately. I just can't seem to find time to get to this thing, although I have so much to write about. Before Danica, I would wake up earlier than the children to have a little quiet time, have my morning devotion, write in this blog, and take care of things around the house. After Danica, I just tried to sleep as long as possible. However, that affected my efficiency around here, and my sanity, since I had no 'me' time. .

So, today I have gone back to the way things were. I woke up early, ate breakfast, studied my sabbath school lesson, and am now writing this post.

I had a nice weekend. Church was good, we had company for lunch, and then watched a movie (well Dwayne watched the movie while I slept on his shoulder). Yesterday, we went to a park for a child's birthday party and then came home and worked in our garden. We were supposed to go to a graduation party Saturday night but didn't make it back out of the hous…

CBS is not smart!

That title is only because I can't say stupid...because it's a bad word.

Anyway, I was all ready to post something new and exciting and then I read that CBS has cancelled The Unit. That is my show! It's the only show in the whole week that I absolutely HAD to watch. I'm actually angry about this. I love Jonas Blaine and the rest of the unit.

Stomping off...

Motherhood

Yesterday, I had something to do so the kids went to their old sitter's house for a few hours. We got home later than intended so I knew I would be rushing to prepare dinner, get them bathed, and settled for the night. Here's what really happened.

As soon as we entered the house, Brayden started running around saying "Mommy, I have to pee". So we rush into the bathroom and as soon as his pants are unbuttoned, he starts peeing on himself. I clean him up and decide they can play in the tub while I start preparing dinner. As soon as we get to the kitchen, Danica throws up all over me, herself, and the floor. So, I take her to our bathroom and bathe her. Before I can get her pj's buttoned up, Brayden starts screaming "I have to pee!" Because he just went all over the bathroom floor, I'm a little perplexed. I run to their bathroom anyway only to find out he didn't have to pee, he had to poop and had already dropped two bombs in the bathtub where his s…

Unnecessary Comment

If you know me, you know I am not easily offended. But this comment...it kinda got to me a little bit. Luckily, it happened over the phone.

Other Person: Your baby is so pretty.
Me: Thank you.
Other Person: She really is beautiful. The other two just weren't as pretty as she is.
Me: (Long silence) I can't believe you just said that.

I won't bore you with the details of the rest of the conversation. But, is it just me, or was the last part of that statement just really not necessary. I would've had absolutely no problem with just the first part but don't compare my kids and, in essence, put down my other two. Thank you if you think my baby is pretty. I do too. Now, let's just leave it at that.

Ugh...

My next post will be much happier and filled with pictures and commentary on my wonderful, although way too short, trip to Florida.

Pray for us

We're leaving today to go on a road trip to Tallahassee. We're going for our godson's baby dedication and to actually meet him for the first time. As a bonus, we get to meet our newest niece too.

Because we waited too long to buy airline tickets, we're driving...with our 3 kids. That's why I need you all to pray for us.

Friends - How many of us have them?

Do y'all remember that song?

I was talking to Brayden's friend last week about friends. I thought Brayden's friend was actually mine but it seem he has claimed her for himself.

Anyway, I've been told by someone else that I'm too liberal with that 'friend' title. I don't know if I'm too liberal or that I'm guilted into calling people my friend. (Is guilted even a word? Hopefully, you know what I mean by that.) Here's the thing. There are some folks who introduce me as their friend when in my mind we're simply associates or people with common interests such as church or kids of the same age. Or, our husbands are friends which means we have to hang out sometimes.

If I really think about it, I have a short friend list. I'm very cool with this, by the way. There aren't a whole lot of people that I willingly let in and share my thoughts with. If you're reading this because I sent the link to you, I probably think of you as a friend. Y…

I'm a bit scatterbrained in this post...

15 years ago, today, my mom died. I almost never remember on this actual day so I thought I would blog about it. Sometimes, it seems like it was last month. Sometimes, it seems like it was 30 years ago.

Dwayne's cousin had a baby girl on February 18th. That's the same day Danica was born. They were both born with a heart murmur and at almost the same time. And, our baby is Danica Aliyah. Her baby's first name is Aliyah. Isn't that cool? None of this was discussed before the births.

I just found out my husband had absolutely no plans to get a vasectomy. We had discussed it before and he said he was going to do it. Because he didn't seem to be in a rush, I went ahead and scheduled my procedure. The other day, during a conversation, he told me he was never going to get fixed anyway. Sucka!

I have some really good friends who don't live in Houston. I miss them!

Danica smiles a lot now. I love it! She gives the best smiles to Danae though. She's scared of Brayden. I…

Boredom

I'm so tired of being in this house now. First, I tried to limit my wanderings because of the newborn. Now, I have to stay in a couple of days because of my procedure. I'm bored though. I think I'll be going to church this weekend. YAY!

Getting Fixed!

So, today I'm recovering from getting fixed...also known as a tubal ligation. It's not so bad except I've created children who love to run up and hug me and well, that's not the best thing when your tummy is hurting.

Right before the anesthesiologist did his magic, my doctor asked if I was absolutely sure I wanted this. Of course I was and still am. It's so freeing for me to know that I never have to worry about getting pregnant again or using any contraceptive. Go us!

Brayden saw my hairline incision and asked if the doctor stabbed me. I have no idea how he knows what stabbing is but I told him no. Brayden then said he's going to spank the doctor for hurting me. Aw, my baby boy wants to defend his mommy. How sweet!

***

In other news, please pray for my niece, Jaelyn. She's sick and in Shands Hospital in Gainesville. Also pray for her mom and dad. This is their first child and they've been thrown a serious curve ball. But, "all things work together for…

I'm an Auntie!

I was all set to post something witty and informational. You know I'm just kidding.

But, now I just want you to know that I'm an auntie again. My brother-in-law and his wife just gave birth to a beautiful 6 lb 1 oz little girl named Jaelyn Antoinette. Aww! I can't wait to meet her.

Do You Hear That?

It's called silence, and it is indeed golden. Dwayne, his father, and our oldest two children are gone so the kids can pick strawberries at the strawberry patch. Danica is sleeping peacefully in my bed. The only thing I hear is the sound of the washing machine. This is so very nice.

One of my favorite pair of sandals broke yesterday. As soon as I stepped into the garage, the strap popped. Looks like I need to go look for a replacement pair.

I've realized facebook has made me more of a recluse. I already rarely call people. It's gotten worse since I know I can look at people's status or message and get a general idea of how they're doing.

I'm reading two really good books. One is called "Home Sweet Home School" and the other is "His Robe is Mine". They both have messages I really need to hear right now.

That's all I have for now. Talk to you guys later.

Birthdays

Today would have been my mother's 61st birthday...if she were still alive. Unfortunately, I know quite a few people who lost a parent early in life. Most of them feel sad on that parent's birthday or other holidays like Mother's Day or Father's Day. I don't.

There have been many times that I wished my mother were still alive. Some days have been harder than others. I really wish she could've met my husband and children. I wish she could've been there for my prom, graduation, debutante ball.

But today, instead of grieving over something that I have no control over, I spent the day at the zoo. I celebrated the 2nd birthday of a beautiful little boy named Boston. My children spent time with their friends learning about animals. The weather was perfect. And so was seeing the smiles on my children's faces.

There's really no point lamenting over what could have been when you can enjoy what's right in front of you.

What Do You Think?

I have a friend who is married with children. They were trying to think of vacation ideas for spring break. She wanted to go somewhere tropical or at least a beach spot in the states. He said they couldn't afford it right now. Would be understandable except...

He went to the inauguration by himself and was gone for several days.He went on a trip in February with the boys once again leaving his family behind.So, he could afford to take two solo trips but can't afford to go on a vacation with his family. She even suggested that they just go for a weekend but he said they don't need to be spending money on frivolous things right now. They're now going to visit family for spring break.

I was annoyed for her because if we're broke then nobody should be going on trips. But, maybe that's just me.

What do you think?

Just Stuff

So, Danica was crying and I couldn't get to her right away. By the time I did (maybe 5-10 minutes) she was very upset with me. Danae and Brayden tried to calm her but it didn't work. So, I picked her up and started singing "Jesus Loves Me" to her. It's something I have done with all of my children because it tends to calm them and keeps me calm as well. Brayden came to me and said "Stop Mommy." When I asked why, he said "that's my song so you can't sing that to her. You need to choose a different song."

I'm supposed to get serious about getting my body in shape. So, why did I just polish off half a box of Thin Mints. Girl scout cookies are the devil! I'm so glad they're not available all year long. I'm not going to mention the other junk I've eaten in the last couple of days. I really need to get on the ball, especially since my Trini friend and I say we're going to train for a 5k.

I Made It!

Yesterday was my first day flying solo with all three children. It wasn't so bad. We still had school time although we adjusted the schedule a bit. By the time Dwayne came home though, I was very tired and so happy I didn't have to cook dinner. I have awesome friends!

All of the children are doing very well. The older two are a bit overwhelming with showering their sister with their love. But, at least they're not trying to hurt her or anything. We just have to make them give her a break sometimes. Danica is doing well at night. She wakes up to eat and goes back to sleep. I moved the rocking chair in my room so I can nurse her and put her back in her own bed. When I bring her to my bed, I end up falling asleep and she just stays in there with us. Even though I did the same thing with the other two, this time I want as much uninterrupted sleep as possible. With a newborn in the bed, the sleep just isn't as good.

Every time I have a child, I'm so amazed by the love I h…

I just stopped by to say

I'm so ready for my aunt to go home. I know someone will think it's crazy of me but I am so serious. She leaves on Monday and I am literally doing a countdown. Maybe next week I'll be singing another tune.

Crazy Conversations

Since I like to post crazy conversations with my kids, I thought I should let you know where they get it from. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. Both of these happened while I was in labor with Danica.

First Example:
I was in pain but hadn't dilated enough to do anything. I was moaning and complaining.
Dwayne: You should try to think of other things to help take your mind off the pain.
Me: Like what? This hurts.
Dwayne: Think about cleaning the house or laundry or something.
Me: Fool, I'm in pain. Do you really think I want to start thinking about household chores?
Dwayne: That's the first thing that came to mind.
Me: (All I could do was roll my eyes)
Dwayne: Okay, think about Boracay beach in the Philippines. Remember the powdery sand. Blah, blah, blah.
Me: That's better but you're still stupid.

Second Example:
At this time, my contractions were less than a minute apart. I had to stay on my right side because the baby's heart rate kept decelerating duri…

Love at First Sight

I am absolutely in love with this little girl.



Danica was born with a heart murmur but we found out today it's no longer there. We are so happy with this little perfect being and can't wait to get to know her more.

Nothing to talk about

I haven't blogged this week because I just don't have much to talk about. I have an appointment with my doctor today to see if I have progressed at all. Dwayne thinks the baby is coming tomorrow because Danae and Brayden were both born on Friday mornings. I guess we'll see.

Brayden told me the other day that I am the best teacher ever. Yes, I know he has nothing to compare me to but it was still nice to hear. I love watching my children learn and learning more about them. They are so alike yet so very different. They also learn very differently. For instance, Brayden is picking up on phonics so very easily. He is trying to sound out words when he sees them. Danae, on the other hand, hasn't picked up on phonics as easily. She has a superb memory though. So, she recognizes sight words easily but can't necessarily use phonics to distinguish between two words like cat and bat. This frustrated me at first but I've learned that I just have to adjust the way I teach he…

Question for the SDA Folks

So, during my morning worship today, I was reading my Sabbath school lesson. It's about the prophetic gift for those who may now know. Anyway, it made me wonder something. Our church recognizes Ellen G White as a "modern-day" prophet. I put that in parenthesis simply because she's been dead for so long that it's hard for me to think of her as modern. Let me get back to the point. A lot of Adventists, particularly the younger folks, don't give as much credence to her writings as the older people. I wonder if it's because people don't read her books as much and are simply going by what they're heard. Or, is it that people don't think her writings are relevant?

I have read several of her books:
"The Great Controversy"
"The Acts of the Apostles"
"Patriarchs and Prophets"
"Last Day Events"
"Counsels on Stewardship"
"The Desire of Ages"
"The Story of Redemption"

and parts of the following …

1-2 cm

...is how far I've dilated. Not much, but it is a start. My doc doesn't think I'll make it to my next appointment which is in a week. I don't know about that. During my two previous pregnancies, I was dilated 1-2 cm for 2 weeks before the baby came. I'm not in a hurry anymore though because I believe she'll get here when she's supposed to. I can endure backaches and leg pains for a little longer if it's best for her.

Pregnancy

One of the best things about being pregnant in the winter is that I don't feel pressured to shave my legs. I know that probably sounds crazy but it's kind of difficult to get to all the hairs down there. So, I can just wear pants and no one knows the difference. I love it!

The other good thing is that I'm not miserably hot like when I was pregnant with Brayden. My body temperature seriously escalates during pregnancy. It's so bad that I sometimes have to change clothes in the middle of the night because my nighties are soaked through with sweat. Just imagine how I was during the Houston summer. Because of this, I'm convinced that I'll have horrible hot flashes during menopause.

My baby is due in 12 days. I go to the doctor tomorrow and fully expect him to tell me I have dilated.

***

On another note, why did my friend just tell me that one of our high school classmates just died from a heart attack. I'm really tired of hearing about so many deaths. This is weird…

Here we go again

I just found out that Gloria Musgray died last night. She was a member of the church we attended in Tallahassee. She fought a long battle with cancer but unfortunately succumbed to the disease. I pray that her family and friends find comfort during this time of grief.

I'm Feeling Sick

I spent the bulk of the day yesterday comforting my daughter since she was the lucky recipient of her brother's germs. Guess who has a very sore throat today? Yep, that would be me. I knew I shouldn't have allowed her to lay on me so much yesterday.

Guess who is still a huge bundle of energy even though he's infecting everyone else? Yep, that would be Brayden.

I am having the hardest time explaining the concept of death to Danae. I would've left it alone by now but she keeps asking me questions and I don't want her to bring it up with Georgia's family again. She already asked her daughter why her mom wasn't at church last Sabbath.

15 Days To Go... Really about facebook friends

Every post will probably have my countdown in it. I can't believe that in 15 days (or less) I will have my new baby girl in my arms. I'm so excited! Now off to the real post.

The good and bad thing about Facebook is that you can reconnect with past friends and associates. Let me tell you about a couple of them.

In middle school, I met one of my cousins. We attended the same school and were both in the drama club. One day, we had a competition and my mom thought this girl looked like her family. Then, she asked her name and found out her last name was the same as my grandfather's (mom's dad). Well, he was definitely a rolling stone and it turned out that the schoolmate (J) was my cousin. Her grandfather and my mom were siblings, or half-siblings. So, for a minute, J and I thought that was cool. Except she was a little crazy. She had a serious hangup when it came to complexion and hair texture. She was (and still is) a gorgeous girl with flawless chocolate skin. If anythin…

Random

Is it just me or did this week just fly by.

I went to the doctor yesterday and found out I haven't dilated at all. I really thought I had by now.

I can't wait to see my baby girl. I'm finally getting excited now. I just might actually start getting stuff for her, like pampers and such. She is supposed to be here really soon.

My mom died almost 15 years ago. That is such a long time. Sometimes, I can't remember specific things about her and I hate it. Danae is so confused about why granny (my stepmom) isn't my mom. She has seen pictures of my deceased mom but really still doesn't get it.

I'm so glad this Sabbath is my last one for teaching the cradle roll class for a while. I like to move and get on the floor with the kids and that's becoming increasingly harder. Danae is no longer in cradle roll but she says her class is not as much fun.

Brayden is really the sweetest boy ever. He is so generous with the hugs and kisses. We just might have to keep him around…

Danae's Birthday Recap

So, our efforts of downplaying Danae's birthday really went out the window. This just means that we'll have to really go all out for poor Brayden. When I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday, she said she wanted a manicure/pedicure and to get her hair done. Crazy, I know. Anyway, this is what she did.

Her godmother took her to get a mani/pedi last Monday. I wish I could upload the picture from my phone but this is a picture of her actual hands and feet. They won't look very different because she only has clear polish on her hands and cotton candy on her feet (but it looks clear).

(her little fat toes are so cute to me)



On Wednesday (her actual birthday), we went to the Rainforest Cafe for dinner. It was the best night because it happened to also be their kids night. So, they had a clown and people dressed up like animals and she thought it was all for her.


(Brayden helped her eat her birthday dessert)

(Why is Dwayne cheesing so hard?)

On Friday, she went to the salon…

And another thing...

Brittany, Georgia's daughter, told me something on Sunday that made me fight back the tears. Georgia had a stroke on Danae's 4th birthday. While she was lying on the floor, unable to move, she said "Brittany, I forgot to call Nae Nae to tell her happy birthday!" She was always thinking of other people, even at her darkest moment.

I told Danae that Auntie Sis Melville said "Happy Birthday" and she was happy to hear that. Now, I just have to find a way to explain this death to a VERY inquisitive child. Feel free to give me ideas. Just keep in mind that she asks so many questions that I had to explain what a stroke is because she wouldn't accept just hearing that Georgia was sick and in the hospital.

Follow up on Georgia

For those of you who don't already know, Georgia Melville died over the weekend. We are all very shaken up by this but we know that God knows best.

The point of this post is just that we need to remember how important it is to appreciate each other every day and every time we see one another. Sometimes we may have to inconvenience ourselves but we must let each other know that we really care because you never know when it will be too late.

In December, our church's school had their Christmas play. After the play, I asked Georgia if her daughter's school was going to have a play. She said yes and told me when it was. I told her I would be there. On the day of her daughter's play, I was really tired and Dwayne was out of town on a business trip. I still went to the play because I promised I would. Georgia was so happy I actually showed up and told a few others about it. It made me glad I went even though I honestly thought about missing it.

Earlier this month, I received th…

Randomly speaking

25 more days to go! At least that's how long I have until my due date. Of course, I'm hoping Danica comes a little sooner but whatever's best.

Danae is going to a salon for the first time today to get her hair done. I can't wait to see how she acts because she is so scary of everything. I also can't wait to see how she looks.

Brayden still doesn't understand that he can't lunge on my stomach. I have learned all kind of defense maneuvers that won't hurt him in the process.

My dad forgot Danae's birthday. He thought it was Feb 21st. He said I'm having too many children and he can't keep up. I made him feel bad for it though.

I have to change clothes in the middle of the night every night because I have been sweating profusely. That ain't cute.

I'm not ready to have my sleep disrupted by a newborn. Hopefully, she'll be like Danae and start sleeping through the night at 2 months.

I can not wait to find out what my brother-in-law and his wi…

One of those annoying emails.

I have gotten this in email form from a few folks. So, I decided to answer it on my blog so anyone can read it if they choose. And, I don't have to forward it to other folks who aren't interested either. Anyway, here goes.

1.What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Lay a wood floor. Visit Hong Kong. Ride a horse on a volcano. Many things, actually.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I always know people who are giving birth because everyone and their mama keeps having kids. My friends LATANYA/TERA, Ruth, Keisha, Brenda, and Shirley gave birth this year. I think that's it.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My cousin and I still haven't dealt with my grief. I just try to push it into the corners of my mind.

5. What countries did you visit?
I visited the Philippines and Hong Kong.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
More patience…

Prayer Request

For those of you who do not believe in the power of God, please excuse yourself from this post. I'll be back with something new tomorrow. I don't mean to offend but I have a request for those who believe in God.

A member of my church, named Georgia, had a stroke last night and emergency surgery to save her life. I'm asking you to pray for her health and for comfort and peace for her family. She is married with two children. Georgia is a young woman, in her 40's (I think). I don't have any updates on her current status but will update this post if I find out anything.

Thank you.

Danae

Today, my daughter became a four year old. I can't believe it! It feels like I was just welcoming her into this world and we're now celebrating her fourth year of life. I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be her mother. I'm humbled by the task that God gave us and parents everywhere. The very fact that he entrusts her care to us is mind blowing.

Danae is such a special little girl. She's warm and nurturing, she's friendly yet cautious, she loves to take care of other people, and has an amazing memory. My wish for her is that she grows up to love God and her fellow man, that she is always humble and respectful of others, that she never forgets who she is, and that she is ready to spend eternity with her Creator. Anything else that she accomplishes will just be icing on the cake.

I have a different (though not better) connection with Danae than I will have with my other children. It's simply because she was my firstborn. She has taught me just as much as I'…

Our New President

President Obama is so inspirational. I love to hear him speak.

This isn't the first time I've watched an inauguration ceremony. I love formal ceremonies in general and have watched the inaugurations since I was a child. But, this one just felt different. I can't explain how it made me feel. I made my children sit and watch the swearing in. They enjoyed hearing "Hail to the Chief" and Brayden marched around the room while it was played.

If I didn't happen to be 8 months pregnant, my family would've been among the masses in D.C. Apparently, it wasn't meant to be and we watched on the television while Dwayne and I texted each other. He watched at work.

Preserving a Legacy

I don't know about you, but in my family, we've dealt with a lot of death and sickness. I've noticed, though, that once the person dies they are elevated into a sort of sainthood. They become people who have only done good in their lives. Their dirty little secrets and past mistakes are erased.

My mother died almost 15 years ago now. One day, we were having a casual conversation about my childhood versus my children's childhood. I mentioned some things that I do that I got directly from my parents and other things from my husband's parents. Then, we also mentioned how we realize our parents did some things wrong and we choose to not repeat them. My dad felt insulted. He kept saying that my mom was the best mom, blah, blah, blah. I tried to explain to him that I agree with that statement because I do feel she did the best she knew how. But, she was nowhere near perfect. She did some bad stuff too. He feels that once a person dies, we should focus only on the good and…

This Facebook Thing

So, my friend has been trying to get me on My Space or Facebook for a few years now. I just didn't feel like being bothered. Dwayne's cousins had been trying to get him on for a while too. He gave in to the peer pressure and then I gave in to the spousal pressure.

I almost deleted my account for a few reasons. One, I don't want to befriend anyone I don't know and never knew. Then, I started getting friend requests from people who grew up with Dwayne but I don't know them at all. I thought this things was going to be really annoying.

But then, I got a friend request from someone I met probably 15-20 years ago. She's from Pensacola and is friends with my older cousin. I ignored it for a couple of days but then decided to accept her. I'm so glad I did. She lives just up the street in Austin. She homeschools her children (ages 6 and 11) and was able to pass along some great information to help me with my little ones. And, even though y'all didn't know thi…

We're not so different after all...

My dad came to visit us for Christmas. While he was here, he was saying how much Danae reminds him of me when I was a little girl. I wasn't surprised because she definitely has my attitude and a lot of my personality. But, I was surprised when he told me his reason. She's such a girlie girl. I was shocked because I'm not girlie at all. Then, he pulled out some pictures from when I was little. For some reason, this man always has random pictures with him but they're not in a photo album or anything. Anyway, in most of them I had on a dress and was playing with my dolls or my toy kitchen or something like that. I told him that was impossible because I always thought of myself as more of a tomboy.

So, what had happened was, I really was much more interested in feminine things. But, my mom kinda nipped that. She wasn't so girlie and couldn't relate and chose to ignore that part of me. When I was little, I used to get my hair done every other Saturday. I thought it w…

Baby Making (Or Not)

So, as I've said before, I'm getting my tubes tied this year. I have had so many people tell me they don't agree with this. I've been told that I should let God decide how many children we have or ask him to close my womb. I should wait and see if I want more children in the future. It's too permanent. What if something happens to my children and I decide I want more later.

I honestly didn't expect to run in to so much opposition. First of all, it's my body and my decision. Secondly, I am absolutely sure that I don't want more children. And lastly, it really is my decision.

The funny thing is that my friend who has 5 children has received a lot of criticism for the size of her family and was told repeatedly that she should've gotten her tubes tied. Now, there are other circumstances in that particular family that would warrant such remarks. But my point is that people are never satisfied. If we continued to have children, I'm sure someone would sa…

My Nightmare

Last night, I had a horrible dream. Danae was kidnapped. The worse part is that I actually saw it happen but was powerless to help her. She was taken by some folks who looked homeless or something because they were dirty and disheveled. The people told me I would never be able to find her and I believed them.

My dreams are extremely vivid. Most of the time, when I wake up, I have to figure out if they were real or not. The only reason I immediately knew this was a dream was only because I was in my bed and everything happened outside. I still had to go and make sure my baby was in her bed though.

If anything ever happened to my kids, I feel certain that I would probably lose my mind. I can take a lot of things but that would just be too much to bear. I can't even watch some movies or shows now that involve people hurting kids because I imagine how it would feel for it to happen to us.

Growing Up

Danae went to her first Adventurers meeting yesterday. It really amazes me that my little baby is old enough to be an Adventurer. It seems like she was just born the other day. Anyway, she really enjoyed being there. I look forward to seeing her in her uniform and going camping and all the other fun stuff. It was so cute when they were learning how to get in prayer attention and the other little drills.

Brayden was so sad that he couldn't go with her but I just reminded him that he can go when he's old enough. He had to stay home with daddy. When we got back, he asked her a million questions about what she did at the meeting.

My aunt called me yesterday to let me know that she purchased her ticket to come and help me when the baby comes. I'm so very happy! She came when Danae was a newborn and was such a big help. She also came out when I went back to work after Brayden was born. I thought she might not make it this year because she's getting older and she said she wasn&…

Tired

This is my 26th month of being pregnant during my lifetime and I'm tired. I'm trying not to complain but I'm really tired.

That's all.

Dangerous Times

I was watching Law and Order: SVU last night and the show was about a man who was drugging and then raping women. He apparently was charming enough to engage them in a conversation and the next thing you know the deed was done and they didn't even remember it.

Sometimes, shows like this make me so grateful. In my youth, I did a lot of stupid things. I drank heavily, went clubbing far too often, and just took unnecessary risks with my life. Stupid things! I can remember living in McGuinn dorm at FAMU and coming home extremely drunk. First of all, I drove myself home which was a danger to me and everyone else on the roads at that time. Then, they decided to have a middle of the night fire drill. My roommate had to drag me out onto the steps because I literally couldn't walk. Another night, I ended up spending the night at a f striend's house because I was so drunk that I passed out in her car. And, she said she wasn't about to drag my butt up the steps to my dorm room. I …

Fun Times with the Kiddos

I'm sure you remember Chris Rock's stand up routine where he says your number one goal when raising a daughter is to keep her off the pole. That, he says, is the sure sign that you have failed as a father. So, imagine my laughter (and Dwayne's disgust) when Danae tells us at least once a week that she likes swinging on poles. Granted, she's talking about our bed posts but it seriously makes me laugh every single time because it freaks Dwayne out so much.

The same thing happens when she talks about her imaginary friend named Mark. I can't imagine how he will be when she hits the teen years.

***

Yesterday, I had a longer-than-necessary conversation with Brayden about why he's not a man. I told him that he's such a big boy because he is finally acting like he's actually potty trained.
His response: "I'm not a big boy. I'm a man."
Me: "Uh, no, son, you're a big boy. Daddy's a man."
Him: "No, mommy, I'm a man, a big man…

Inspiration Boards to Sewing to Fitness

Believe it or not, when I was in high school, I took a few Fashion Marketing classes. It was mainly because I like to see the layouts in magazines, stores, on billboards, etc. I like how designers market their wares. A part of this class included having display windows and coming up with ad layouts. To this day, I still love looking at the ads in fashion magazines and store display windows. Some of the best I've ever seen (outside of NY which is great) were in Manila. The people there are serious about their malls and the windows alone would make you all giddy. And that's saying a lot for someone like me who doesn't really like to shop.

Today, I read something talking about creating inspiration boards, like they use on the HGTV shows. This is something I'm going to start doing, although maybe in a notebook or something instead. I'm a visual person and I have to see things (or draw them) in order to fully appreciate them. I think my friend Red's husband used to d…

Back to Life

For the past two weeks, Dwayne has been on vacation. That means our home life has been drastically different. We've been playing and relaxing and just enjoying one another. Well, today, we have to get back to our normal way of doing things.

I have to start my kid's "school" again. They have to get back on their normal sleep schedule because they've been staying up way too late most nights. At least, we'll be okay for about 6 weeks. And then, the real disrupting force will be here.

I think we decided on a name, Danica Aliyah. They mean "morning star" and "noble, sublime". You know I love for names to have a good meaning. We're all eagerly anticipating the arrival of our baby but no one is more excited than Danae. She prays for her every night and talks to her several times throughout the day. Brayden likes to kiss my tummy and talk to her too. I hope this love continues when they're faced with the reality of a crying, pooping, spittin…

The First Day

On this first day of a brand new year, I was able to spend time with the people I love most, my family. My husband fixed omelets for our late breakfast, the kids and I decorated a gingerbread house, we went shopping, and just hung out with each other. It was perfect!

Last night, we sat outside in the cold while igniting fireworks in front of our house. Danae ran away scared and Brayden shivered more than necessary. But, as soon as we came back inside, they both exclaimed that they had fun.

I don't make resolutions because I'm sure I would break them. But, I do hope that I become a better person this year, that I learn new things, travel to new place, and experience all that God has for me. I look forward to meeting my daughter and watching my children grow and learn. Hopefully, I'll become a better wife, mother, friend, daughter, and woman.