Well, this is breast cancer awareness month and I'm posting this blog to encourage everyone to please check yourselves out. Yes, I said everyone because from what I've read, men (although it's rare) can also get breast cancer.
In June of 1990 (I can't believe it's been that long), my mother was diagnosed with breast and ovarian cancer. Four short but painful years later, she died because of cancer. I will never forget that June. My aunt and I traveled to Houston, TX (of all places) to visit my cousin. I found later that this trip was arranged so I would be away while my mother had a biopsy done to find out if her tumor was malignant. Anyway, when we returned my mother sat me down to let me know she had cancer. I felt like the world ended right then. Unfortunately, I was no stranger to cancer. My grandparents and aunt died from it, another aunt had a mastectomy because of it, and another cousin was undergoing treatment at that time. To me, she just told me she was going to die. I felt like God was letting me down. How do you allow someone's mother to die before she's finished growing up? How will I adjust to life without her? My mother and I were like best friends. She was the one person I couldn't lie to because I didn't want her to be even more disappointed and she had the uncanny ability to find out the truth anyway.
On April 7, 1994 my mother died as a result of cancer. That was one of the most horrible days of my life. An older man from my church actually told me about her death over the phone while I was home alone. Mom was in the hospital, I had just gotten home from school and dad hadn't come home from work yet so we could make our daily trek to West Florida Hospital. This man called on the phone and said "you know your mama's dead". I was like "What?". He said again "your mama's dead". I just hung up the phone and sat in a total state of shock. My aunt and cousin came over and I had the unpleasant task of filling them in on the news. I was 16 years old at the time. I found out that this same old man went to my dad's job and told him about her death. This is an example that old age doesn't always equal wisdom. Why would you call a child and tell her about her mom's death over the phone while she's alone? Thank God I wasn't mentally unstable because who knows what could have happened! At first, I felt guilty because no family was with my mom when she died but later found out that 3 of her best girlfriends were with her at that time and she just closed her eyes and died. The previous night, before my dad and I left, she made a bigger than normal deal about saying goodbyes and we all told each other how much we loved the other and I can say that I did get the chance to say goodbye.
So I went to proms, graduated from high school, went to college, loved and lost, faced adversities, and much more without my mom being there. I can only trust that God was then and still is in control of EVERYTHING.
Didn't mean to post all of this but maybe I needed to. When my daughter was born 20 months ago, I was very sad about my mom not being there. I mean everyone's mom goes to the delivery room with then and comes to help them. My mom is asleep in Holy Cross Cemetary in Pensacola, FL. It's been 12 years now and I miss her terribly every day. It's easier but not necessarily better.
Get yourselves checked. Early detection can allow you to spend more time with your loves one and spare them some of the agony I felt...
In June of 1990 (I can't believe it's been that long), my mother was diagnosed with breast and ovarian cancer. Four short but painful years later, she died because of cancer. I will never forget that June. My aunt and I traveled to Houston, TX (of all places) to visit my cousin. I found later that this trip was arranged so I would be away while my mother had a biopsy done to find out if her tumor was malignant. Anyway, when we returned my mother sat me down to let me know she had cancer. I felt like the world ended right then. Unfortunately, I was no stranger to cancer. My grandparents and aunt died from it, another aunt had a mastectomy because of it, and another cousin was undergoing treatment at that time. To me, she just told me she was going to die. I felt like God was letting me down. How do you allow someone's mother to die before she's finished growing up? How will I adjust to life without her? My mother and I were like best friends. She was the one person I couldn't lie to because I didn't want her to be even more disappointed and she had the uncanny ability to find out the truth anyway.
On April 7, 1994 my mother died as a result of cancer. That was one of the most horrible days of my life. An older man from my church actually told me about her death over the phone while I was home alone. Mom was in the hospital, I had just gotten home from school and dad hadn't come home from work yet so we could make our daily trek to West Florida Hospital. This man called on the phone and said "you know your mama's dead". I was like "What?". He said again "your mama's dead". I just hung up the phone and sat in a total state of shock. My aunt and cousin came over and I had the unpleasant task of filling them in on the news. I was 16 years old at the time. I found out that this same old man went to my dad's job and told him about her death. This is an example that old age doesn't always equal wisdom. Why would you call a child and tell her about her mom's death over the phone while she's alone? Thank God I wasn't mentally unstable because who knows what could have happened! At first, I felt guilty because no family was with my mom when she died but later found out that 3 of her best girlfriends were with her at that time and she just closed her eyes and died. The previous night, before my dad and I left, she made a bigger than normal deal about saying goodbyes and we all told each other how much we loved the other and I can say that I did get the chance to say goodbye.
So I went to proms, graduated from high school, went to college, loved and lost, faced adversities, and much more without my mom being there. I can only trust that God was then and still is in control of EVERYTHING.
Didn't mean to post all of this but maybe I needed to. When my daughter was born 20 months ago, I was very sad about my mom not being there. I mean everyone's mom goes to the delivery room with then and comes to help them. My mom is asleep in Holy Cross Cemetary in Pensacola, FL. It's been 12 years now and I miss her terribly every day. It's easier but not necessarily better.
Get yourselves checked. Early detection can allow you to spend more time with your loves one and spare them some of the agony I felt...
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love you
ren
xoxo