We're back from our fabulous trip to Hong Kong. Of course, I will blog about it later. For now, I have questions for y'all.
A white South African woman said to my Black American husband "I'm more African than you are." How would you reply?
Danae wants her hair to look like the Filipino people or even like her mommy. I want her to have a healthy self esteem. I always tell her that she is beautiful and especially focus on her hair. But, her texture is different from mine. And, there are few black people here and no one who wears their hair naturally. So, she wants long, straight hair (should I be offended that she doesn't want shoulder length curly hair like her mother). How would you handle that? By the way, the only thing I have that might do the trick is a flat iron. But, we live in a tropical climate which means a lot of humidity.
Our nanny asked me today if we would consider taking her back to the USA when we leave. She desperately wants to improve her life and accomplish her goals and doesn't feel she can do that here. I don't think I want the extra responsibility but I do feel her life COULD improve there. Of course, it could not. I told her Dwayne and I would have to discuss it. He asked me to find out her action plan. She's afraid to talk to him so I'm the liaison. How would you respond?
That's all. I'm sleepy.
A white South African woman said to my Black American husband "I'm more African than you are." How would you reply?
Danae wants her hair to look like the Filipino people or even like her mommy. I want her to have a healthy self esteem. I always tell her that she is beautiful and especially focus on her hair. But, her texture is different from mine. And, there are few black people here and no one who wears their hair naturally. So, she wants long, straight hair (should I be offended that she doesn't want shoulder length curly hair like her mother). How would you handle that? By the way, the only thing I have that might do the trick is a flat iron. But, we live in a tropical climate which means a lot of humidity.
Our nanny asked me today if we would consider taking her back to the USA when we leave. She desperately wants to improve her life and accomplish her goals and doesn't feel she can do that here. I don't think I want the extra responsibility but I do feel her life COULD improve there. Of course, it could not. I told her Dwayne and I would have to discuss it. He asked me to find out her action plan. She's afraid to talk to him so I'm the liaison. How would you respond?
That's all. I'm sleepy.
Comments
Now to the questions for the South African lady I would have to tell her that I was not born in Africa and so what if you are more African than me, is there some meter that we are being measured against. I am Black not African.
Danae's dilemma, I don't know how I would handle that. I don't think my mom let us get perms until we were 5 because she couldn't handle it anymore. I think when you move back to the states she will see more people that look like her and she will move on to another issue.
Your nanny that is a big responsibility. Wouldn't you have to sign papers for here to back to the states with you. That is something you should definitely pray about.
Keisha
You know one of the reasons I am going back natural is because of my daughter. A mother told me how her girls wanted to have long blonde hair because of what they see at school. So I decided last May to not put another perm in my hair because I want my daughter to see how beautiful natural hair can look. She is only two so we will see if me going natural helps her to love her own hair texture. As for Danae, you have to continue to let her know that she is beautiful just the way she is. Many of my friends are putting perms in their children hair at an early age, which I think is a mistake, but they say it is because they cannot handle their hair. Of course that is just another excuse to me. I have alot more to say about the issue so email me if you want to read more. I don't want to use too much of the blog space.
As far as the nanny, that is a really big issue that needs to be brought and decided by God. Please pray, fast and meditate on this issue until you hear from God.
Talk with you later. Thanks for the advice on potty training.
Red
On the S African woman - she's right but so what ur aim in life is not to be African. Being African is an ethnicity and u were not born in Africa no were ur immediate parents so no ur not African but You are black. That's ur race as there are only 3 of them in the entire world...black, white,asian
On the hair issue. That inevitably is an issue that every girl of color goes through. I think most of us went through tying curtains or towels or bows or whatever to our hair wishing it was longer or straight. However it is not a unique dilemma to women of color it impacts other women to. I have asian friends who talked abt wanting curly hair. White friends wanting blonde hair, blonds wanting brown or red. The long and short of it is it's human nature to want what you don't have partially b/c it's different. And wanting something different does not mean u don't love urself. However on the flip side women have a huge issue with self esteem and self image and honestly there's not much more you can do for her besides reinforcing that she's beautiful and that u love her and understanding that to an extent no matter how much or how often you say that it won't be enough until she decides to believe it for herself. B/c we all have to understand eventually that different does not equal bad.
As far as the nanny I'd say no. If you want an elaboration on why hit me up...b/c i'm not putting the reasoning on a blog.
Lonna