so please just bear with me. I've been reminiscing a lot the last 24 hours.
I was 3 years old when I first fell in love. In fact, my first real memory is when Javares (Jay) was a newborn baby. I was so amazed at this beautiful baby doll who was actually alive. I begged to hold him but of course the adults were wiser than that. I was given a job though. When they would lay him on the sofa it was my job to sit on the edge and make sure he didn't roll off. I took it very seriously. If he even flinched I was ready to save him. I was his protector.
As I said, he lived with us for several years. We were inseparable. We had matching underoos as kids. He was Superman and I was Wonder Woman. He was Batman, I was Batgirl. For one of my mother's high school reunions they went on a cruise. Jay went too of course. We had so much fun running around that ship and gorging ourselves with all the yummy food. When he lived with us we shared a room. Something happened with my closet door and it was removed. He was afraid of the clothes at night because he thought they were people coming to get him. My mom had to hang a curtain there because he couldn't sleep. I would stay up with him at night because I was his protector.
His mom treated him like crap a lot of the time. She took advantage of his love. He cut hair for the boys in the neighborhood. She stole his money. She chose the love of her husband (his stepfather) over doing the right thing for her children. When we were little children (about 2 and 5), his grandmother was on her death bed. His mom was supposedly more settled then. She would sometimes babysit me when my mom had to work. His mom would leave us in the bed with my sick aunt for hours with one grilled cheese sandwich on the nightstand. She could barely walk so we just played in the bed beside her. We would all have to share the sandwich until someone came. He loved her through it all. There was a time when I hated her because of how she treated Jay but I was powerless. I still wanted to be his protector.
As we grew, our roles changed. If other kids would try to start trouble with me, he would stand up to them. If a boy hurt my heart, he was always there. Before I married, he would always tell me that I had a good man in my life and that he entrusted my care to my husband. When we prepared to move to the Philippines, he reassured me and encouraged me to fully enjoy the opportunity to live in another country. He said it would be wonderful even though I was scared. He became my protector.
I love him so and can't imagine never seeing him again. Never hearing his laugh. Never getting another big bear hug. Never getting another email.
I'm going to speak at his funeral. He deserves a loving tribute but I don't know what to say to comfort others when it's hard for me to stop crying. I just know that he meant the world to me and I'll miss him.
I was 3 years old when I first fell in love. In fact, my first real memory is when Javares (Jay) was a newborn baby. I was so amazed at this beautiful baby doll who was actually alive. I begged to hold him but of course the adults were wiser than that. I was given a job though. When they would lay him on the sofa it was my job to sit on the edge and make sure he didn't roll off. I took it very seriously. If he even flinched I was ready to save him. I was his protector.
As I said, he lived with us for several years. We were inseparable. We had matching underoos as kids. He was Superman and I was Wonder Woman. He was Batman, I was Batgirl. For one of my mother's high school reunions they went on a cruise. Jay went too of course. We had so much fun running around that ship and gorging ourselves with all the yummy food. When he lived with us we shared a room. Something happened with my closet door and it was removed. He was afraid of the clothes at night because he thought they were people coming to get him. My mom had to hang a curtain there because he couldn't sleep. I would stay up with him at night because I was his protector.
His mom treated him like crap a lot of the time. She took advantage of his love. He cut hair for the boys in the neighborhood. She stole his money. She chose the love of her husband (his stepfather) over doing the right thing for her children. When we were little children (about 2 and 5), his grandmother was on her death bed. His mom was supposedly more settled then. She would sometimes babysit me when my mom had to work. His mom would leave us in the bed with my sick aunt for hours with one grilled cheese sandwich on the nightstand. She could barely walk so we just played in the bed beside her. We would all have to share the sandwich until someone came. He loved her through it all. There was a time when I hated her because of how she treated Jay but I was powerless. I still wanted to be his protector.
As we grew, our roles changed. If other kids would try to start trouble with me, he would stand up to them. If a boy hurt my heart, he was always there. Before I married, he would always tell me that I had a good man in my life and that he entrusted my care to my husband. When we prepared to move to the Philippines, he reassured me and encouraged me to fully enjoy the opportunity to live in another country. He said it would be wonderful even though I was scared. He became my protector.
I love him so and can't imagine never seeing him again. Never hearing his laugh. Never getting another big bear hug. Never getting another email.
I'm going to speak at his funeral. He deserves a loving tribute but I don't know what to say to comfort others when it's hard for me to stop crying. I just know that he meant the world to me and I'll miss him.
Comments
Keisha
Ayana
Jay touched a lot of hearts, and we will miss him here at Camp Buehring. There is a memorial on Saturday. Let me know if you would like some pics.
Anon.
Camp Buehring, Kuwait.
Yes, I would love pictures from the memorial. Your comment brought a smile to my face. Thank you for commenting.