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I could've been a thug Mrs.

Can you imagine it? Me either. Let's get to the story.

My first love was this sweet, cute boy named Michael. We met when we were about 15 in the choir I wrote about yesterday. He was a lot of fun to hang with and my entire family loved him. So, after hanging out a bit, he asked me to be his girlfriend. We dated for the rest of our high school years.

He was really a good guy. He was super smart, went to church every Sunday, and was very respectful. But, he came from a crazy family. His parents divorced when he was younger which really affected the four kids. He had an older brother, a twin sister, and a younger sister. His mom and dad didn't get along at all and often put the kids in the middle of their disagreements. His mom was rumored to be gay. I don't know if that was true but she did have a "friend" who lived with them. His dad remarried a very nice lady and moved on with his life. His grandma lived next door where she was raising her twin grandsons because their dad killed their mom and then himself. So, yeah, there were issues in that family.

Anyway, we dated during high school although we attended different schools. We went to prom together and everyone thought we were such a cute couple. But, things changed. As smart as he was, he had no hope for a different future. He was always told he would never be anything or do anything. And, he started to believe it. He spent almost every waking moment with me and my family...which was sometimes very annoying. But, he just needed to get away and I understood that.

Eventually, he became a different person. When we met, he was on the football team and physically fit. He became fat over time and that was not attractive to me. He lost interest in school. During our senior year, he started hanging with the wrong crowd and started selling drugs. That was also not attractive to me. He used to give me money and I would just give it back. He didn't understand that I was not to be bought. I loved the fresh 15 year old version of him, not the trappings of his new lifestyle. He did graduate from high school and I tried to encourage him to go to school or learn a trade or something. It was too late.

We ended up breaking up but he really held a special place in my heart at the time. I had so much hope that he would turn his life around and make better decisions. He was arrested but had very little dope on him so was only charged with a misdemeanor. I thought that would be the straw that broke the camel's back. At the time, I had moved to Tallahassee for school but we still kept in touch. I visited him a lot and we had one of those on again/off again relationships. Until, one weekend while I was at home. I think we were supposed to go out to eat or something. I was at my aunt's house and he lived nearby so I decided to drive to the restaurant. He got in my car, looking very tired, and then took something out of his pocket and put it in my console. Y'all, it was crack rocks! I almost lost it. At that moment, I realized everything we thought we had was gone. He didn't really love me anymore because if he did, he wouldn't have brought that in my car. I immediately threw it out of my car. I cursed him completely out and made him get out of my car. He had a long walk home that night but I was finally free of him and his problems. The boy I loved had become a man I despised. We talked a couple of times after that and he apologized. I accepted it but never let him back into my life. Of course, different people would tell me what he was up to from time to time and I found out he never got out of that lifestyle. He is currently in a federal penitentiary serving a life sentence because of Florida's three strikes law.

I saw his mom a few years ago and she told me she always thought we would get back together. When I left him alone, she was actually mad because she felt like I was giving up on him when he needed me. His twin sister and I keep in touch sometimes.

I often think about how my life could have turned out so drastically different. I'm glad I had the wisdom to kick him out of my car and my life. I have no desire to be visiting any man behind bars or explaining the situation to my children. He actually has a daughter in Pensacola by a girl who I went to high school. She liked him while we dated and was very flirtatious with him. She eventually got the prize and made sure all my friends told me about it. She didn't realize he wasn't a prize anymore, just a little cheap toy in the bottom of some Cracker Jacks. Even though she was trifling, I feel sorry for her because she truly is a single mom and her daughter will never have a father. I can't imagine.

The fool actually asked me to marry him at one point; he even had a ring for me. I knew it was neither the right time or man and told him so. Thank God for insight!

Comments

TERA said…
It's funny how life turns out but like you said thank God for insight.
bklynq said…
God knows the plans he has for us, and obviously that was not his plan.
*Tanyetta* said…
No, you could not have been a Mrs. Thug. You are way too classy for that. You knew when it was time to bounce and you did.

Sorry to hear about the other chick. Kids are the only ones to really suffer in situations like that.
Anonymous said…
Thank God for insight!!! I wouldn't even know you, if you had stayed in FL.


Trinimerican
Anonymous said…
To God be the glory. Thank you for being obedient. Life would have been so different for you and others you have touched in Tally, Houston, Cali, etc. And don't forget the ones you will touch like your godson, your daughter in your belly, etc.

HALLELUJAH, THANK GOD FOR INSIGHT AND OUR OBEDIENCE.

Red.

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