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Baby Making (Or Not)

So, as I've said before, I'm getting my tubes tied this year. I have had so many people tell me they don't agree with this. I've been told that I should let God decide how many children we have or ask him to close my womb. I should wait and see if I want more children in the future. It's too permanent. What if something happens to my children and I decide I want more later.

I honestly didn't expect to run in to so much opposition. First of all, it's my body and my decision. Secondly, I am absolutely sure that I don't want more children. And lastly, it really is my decision.

The funny thing is that my friend who has 5 children has received a lot of criticism for the size of her family and was told repeatedly that she should've gotten her tubes tied. Now, there are other circumstances in that particular family that would warrant such remarks. But my point is that people are never satisfied. If we continued to have children, I'm sure someone would say it was too much. Now that we've decided to control our family size, apparently we shouldn't do that either.

Some people just have too much to say about other people's lives. At one time, I wanted 4 children. I have no idea how I decided on that number. After Brayden, I thought 2 was a great number. But then, number 3 rolled around and we're happy about having this little one. I think if I had begun procreating at a younger age, I might have gone beyond 3 children. But, I didn't and so I'm not. After Brayden was born, we did indeed pray and ask God to shut my womb and prevent any other pregnancies. Obviously, our will was not aligned with his.

By the way, unlike a lot of people, I do wish I started having children earlier. Actually, we tried to begin when I was 25 but our fertility issues caused a little delay. So, I had Danae at 27, Brayden at 29, and now Danica will be born while I'm 31. One of our goals was to have all of our children before reaching the big 3-0.

Anyway, my point was that we are really happy with the decision to stop producing children. We have thought long and hard about it. Neither of us have wavered from this decision. So, why can't other people just accept it and keep their comments to themselves.

Comments

Anonymous said…
People always think they know better than you how to live your life. Do these people have more than three kids? Did they go through the same situation you did to get the three kids? How do they know God isn't telling you to get your tubes tied? Exactly!! It is your decision and that's that.

Trinimerican
A.Sharie said…
i agree with you -- it is your body and your decision. you shouldnt have to justify it to anyone else and they shouldnt be looking for you to. Congrats on making the decision you feel is best for you.
Anonymous said…
I agree with you and the other comments. I don't know why people always feel the need to say something about decisions that don't concern them and won't impact their lives.

Joelle
Anonymous said…
You are correct in all your statements. This is your (and your husband's) decision not the outside world. I always tell people upfront 'if you aint got something positive to say don't say it especially to me because you will likely get your feelings hurt!' I always thought I would start having kids at 26 years old and wanted 4 children too. But God didn't see it that way and did not open my womb until I was 30 years old. He has blessed me with two beautiful boys and I am thankful. He has given us technology to use and I pray that my decision to not have anymore children is using this technology within his will!
Latanya
*Tanyetta* said…
Put this on a TSHIRT, I'll buy TWO~

**Some people just have too much to say about other people's lives**

That is the TRUTH.

What I have learned is to limit who I tell my business to. This way I can limit the crap that people think they can say to me.

I have too many children? And that is your business how? Yeah, I thought so!!!

p.s. you have a beautiful family and the only people that need to be worried about your family would be you and the husband! that is all :)
bklynq said…
People are going to give you unwanted advice and comments whether you like it or not. I can tell you right now I am not looking forward to coming to church just for that reason. I'm already getting the question,"when are you having more?" If I never have another one that would be my husband and mines decision. So if you see me with my finger in someones face with some few choice words coming out of my mouth you may know why and you might want to come and diffuse the situation. LOL!

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